Now before I go any further, we need to understand the complex plan that England are putting into play, some general rules they should follow are;

1. Every player on the team needs to of touched the ball at least twice before you are aloud to shoot, even if this means passing up an opertunity for an easy goal.

2. Rooney is actualy sent from the gods and somewhere it is written in the bible that England shout not win thy cup unless the new and improved jesus is playing.

3. If we need goals, take all the strikers off.

4. The goalkeeper isnt actualy there to save goals, thats the job of the defence.

5. Changing the way you attack is not aloud. You must run down the bottom half of the pitch and cross it in. Every time. EVERY time.

6. Believe it or not, David Beckham can actualy take corners. The fact that he hasnt scored from one of them in 3 years, and that almost every single on of them is shit is beside the point, it is written in the bible (around the Rooney statement) that David will take, and fuck up, every single corner, free kick, and generaly any other important chance in the game.

7. Links in with 6, David needs at least a few million a week, otherwise hischildren WILL starve.

8. The first half, the entire team needs to play well. The second half the entire team needs to try to imitate Togo. The more like Togo they play, (i.e the worse they play), the better.

9. Links in with 4, the goalkeeper can also be replaced by the crossbar.

10. If there is any chance whatsoever that England can give away a corner, it needs to be acted upon. If the opposition are in our half and havnt got a corner, then the gods will smite Rooneys foot and the world will be forced into 1,000 years of darkness.

Now that we’ve got those straight, we need to face up to the reality of the matter;

England, are, shit.

Now, doesnt it feel much better to of admited that?
Thought so.

oh, and theres a nice new header

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